And then I met someone and we became friends within the first three seconds of meeting and they bought me a plane ticket to Washington, D.C for four days. A stranger, really. I didn't know anything about them and they didn't know anything about me and people around me started shouting to not get on that plane. To not go somewhere I didn't know with someone I didn't know. But I kept thinking of something my favourite author once said- about how when people buy you plane tickets and put risk in front of your face that you should go for it because it is worse to have a life full of no's and regrets than yes's and a few mistakes. I heard my friends voices. I heard my dads voice. I heard the shouts and I even felt a little bit of temptation to stay home. Play it safe. Keep it cool. Relax. But the thought of saying no to opportunity and no to risk and no to life was so much more terrifying to me than hopping on a plane and going to a new place with new people.
So God provided enough money to hurry my passport up and let me get on a plane. And I took, what I think, was my first real brave step ever in this life.
Bravery, friends, it's a beautiful thing.
I had had one week of my mountaintop before I was in the air flying a few hundred miles. Jesus took all my stability, all my calmness, everything I thought I had finally understood and turned it upside down. He took all my feelings about comfort, tossed them out the window and gave me passion, drive and desire. He taught me all about sacrifice, honour and risk. He used my generous, plane-ticket-buying friend to teach me about wisdom and life and love. He taught me that I really didn't know anything about the world and He taught me about what matters. Oh, did He ever teach me about what matters. He taught me that history matters because now matters. The present matters. And because of that the future matters, too, because it's what my children and grand children and great grand children will live in. He taught me that wars matter because life matters. People matter. Persecution matters. Other countries matter. Government matters. Biblical truths and biblical foundations matter. He taught me that love and life and sacrifice count for something. What you and I do today will count for something.
Jesus got right up in my face, took my hands and begged me to look Him in the eyes. He pried my thoughts from my phone and media and made me look around the world for the first time. Ever. He took my heart off of myself, my desires, my wants, my needs, and made me look at other people and really see them. He made me see blood and sweat and tears and a world that was alive and breathing and hurting.
Washington made me feel like Paul. It's like Jesus spoke and all of a sudden whatever was blocking my view was taken away and I got a new breath of life. It left me speechless. It took away my mountaintop and made me feel like I was running through valleys, over mountains, through forests and down race tracks all at the same time. It was so much so quickly that I could hardly take it in. I still can't fully take it in.
I guess... there is more light in this world then I thought. And sometimes we just need to stand in it. Sometimes we just need to stand in the light and let ourselves feel. Feel whatever it is that comes our way no matter how much it hurts or how much it challenges us. I think that we're all a little too focused on the darkness. Because even if our heart is breaking and our mind is spinning and our lungs feel like they can barely take another breath, here's the truth- there's light. There's light, baby. Light at the end of the tunnels. Light in lonely corners. Light in all the spots that we would deem dark in this world. Washington pushed me into the light. Shoved me right into the centre of this big bright spot and taught me a few essential truths.
I
You will not go wrong with bravery. It's beautiful. It takes you places you wouldn't have imagined to people you wouldn't have imagined. It dumps opportunities on your lap with a big red bow. Or sometimes there isn't a bow. Sometimes it's really messy.
II
This world is so much bigger then we let it be. I live in a small community with a small school and a small church. Everyone knows everything about each other. We are so far into the outskirts that we don't have cell phone service. But this is not the world. It may have been my life for a long time, but this is not the world. What is in front of my face, what is around me- it's not everything. Does that make sense? We confine ourselves to these small bubbles and root ourselves so deeply into routines that it's all we can see. But just because it's all we can see it doesn't mean it's all that there is. This world is big and and created wonderfully by a wonderful Creator and there is just so much beauty in it. There is so much here.
III
Sometimes we get lost. We get lost in the 9-5 jobs. We get lost looking at screens. We get lost in our drama. We get lost in our pain. We just get lost. But if you open up your hands and let yourself look, you'll find maps. You can find maps in the bible. Sometimes your maps will be people. Sometimes your maps will be books. Sometimes your maps will be the still small voice inside you urging you on. Don't get comfortable with being lost, dear. Don't settle. Life isn't fun that way and it isn't real that way. Pick up a map and start walking.
IV
People are good. I know that there is all kinds of debate about that, but it feels like, at the core, all of us are good to some degree. Walking through monuments, hearing stories about war, looking at memorials and talking to the most passionate person I have ever met taught me this truth. I know that the fall was real. I get that. I feel it and I see it daily. The fall was real and it broke our relationship with God. Inherently, we're evil and bad. I understand that. But in Washington I heard and learned and seen so much about war... I read hundreds and hundreds of names of fallen men and women who died fighting for their country. And what stood out to me most was passion. Drive. Heart. And whether they knew The Lord or not, I cannot help but believe that those characteristics came from Him. And those characteristics are good because we are made in the image of a good God.
This blog post is really just a lot of me rambling on and on. But I guess so much truth was shoved in my face and put in my hands and planted in my heart that I can't help but speak about it. Because it's what I want for you.
I want you to be brave. I want you to be really brave in really scary circumstances. I want you to stand up and be passionate and I want you to love even when it seems ridiculous or weird or risky. I want you to take risks. I want you to know your life counts. You count. You matter. You may be scared or lonely. You may be full of fear. You may be questioning everything you've ever known. Or maybe you're okay. Maybe you're fine and happy. Wherever you are, whatever you are, I want you to feel loved and I want this life to be real to you. I want you to believe in goodness.
I don't want you to settle for the quietness. I don't want you to settle for fear. I don't want you to settle for an empty life. There's so much more out there. Jesus offers you new and abundant life. Abundant. Repeat that word over and over and over again to yourself until it becomes real. Abundant life is offered to you.
Light was poured into my life last week through an air plane, a new friend, and a lot of history lessons. I don't know where you are but I'm gonna hold you in the light. I'm gonna get down on my knees and pray for you. I'm gonna hold you to the light.