"I have this really huge big fear that I won't live life." I wrote. "That some day I'll come to the end of my life and see all of my wasted opportunities and all the things I could have done and all the people I could have loved and just didn't."
"That definitely happens to a lot of people" He answered. "I don't think you'll be one of them."
"It happens to countless people. I really, really, really don't want to be one of them." The plea of my heart was that he would answer with assurance. That he would pat my back and promise me I would not be one of those people. I was hoping he would write out a million reasons why this would not happen to me. I was hoping that he would somehow give me some encouraging, inspirational quote. He didn't. He answered with three words. It made me laugh.
Then don't. He said.
Simple.
He probably logged off Facebook and didn't think any more about it. But those three words kept nagging at the back of my head. Don't. Simple. Just don't. Don't confine yourself. Don't let insecurity draw a circle around you. Don't keep your arms in. Don't keep your passion locked away. Don't be fearful. Please, please don't be fearful. Don't say no to risk. Don't say no to opportunities. Don't say no to new life.
Don't. Look around at an aged world who is lugging bags and bags full of regrets and unspoken words and do not let yourself be like them.
Don't. Don't get so caught up in the act of finding God that you forget to sit down and just be with Him. Don't get so involved in the church that you forget to be the church. Don't seek so deeply for a mission and try to do so many things that you forget to sit down and just let yourself love Him. Don't try to heap up an impressive list of to-do's and forget to do the most important thing- love.
Don't. Don't waste rainy days. Don't forget that it's okay to feel. Don't forget that fearlessness looks a whole lot like cliff jumping with your best friends but it also looks a whole lot like letting yourself cry in a messy, heartbreaking way on the bathroom floor. Don't forget that to be fearless often means standing in front of a crowd and delivering a speech but it also means stepping back and letting someone else take the centre stage.
Don't. Don't forget that the people in front of you are real, breathing, living beings. Don't get so wrapped up in media and texting and profiles and likes that you forget that the people in front of you have a heart beat-beat-beating in their chest. Don't get so caught up with being superficial that it causes you to forget the truth: you've got one life. One life, baby. One life. And if you've got one life then it means you've got one chance. And if you've only got one chance to love then you better do it. You better turn off the internet and sit in a coffee shop and start loving people with words and actions and not just a cell phone.
Don't. Don't forget to show up. I don't mean for dates or to school. Don't forget to be a living, breathing, screaming invitation to people to believe in something better. Don't forget to be there for people. Don't be afraid to get into the scary, nitty gritty, realness of someone's heart and soul. Don't be afraid to get your hands dirty with the brokenness of other people. Don't be so distant from people.
That's what my friends' three words screamed at me- a bunch of don'ts. A million reasons to live and love and give and serve. I'm not good at any of the above. I mess up daily and have too many unspoken words on these lips. My arms are empty with the people I did not hold and my hands are aching from too many times I held back from giving. I can give you a very long list of my flaws, starting with the way I fold laundry and ending with how I love people... But I'm trying. I am practising the art of just being here. Of showing up on someone's doorstep with a bible and two coffee cups in my hand. I am practising the art of buying flowers and meeting at cafes and trying desperately to show people goodness.
I think that's what it boils down to, a lot of the time. When you are wondering about your motives and beliefs and your very life, I think you'll ask yourself one question: did you believe in goodness? More importantly, did you live it out?
"That definitely happens to a lot of people" He answered. "I don't think you'll be one of them."
"It happens to countless people. I really, really, really don't want to be one of them." The plea of my heart was that he would answer with assurance. That he would pat my back and promise me I would not be one of those people. I was hoping he would write out a million reasons why this would not happen to me. I was hoping that he would somehow give me some encouraging, inspirational quote. He didn't. He answered with three words. It made me laugh.
Then don't. He said.
Simple.
He probably logged off Facebook and didn't think any more about it. But those three words kept nagging at the back of my head. Don't. Simple. Just don't. Don't confine yourself. Don't let insecurity draw a circle around you. Don't keep your arms in. Don't keep your passion locked away. Don't be fearful. Please, please don't be fearful. Don't say no to risk. Don't say no to opportunities. Don't say no to new life.
Don't. Look around at an aged world who is lugging bags and bags full of regrets and unspoken words and do not let yourself be like them.
Don't. Don't get so caught up in the act of finding God that you forget to sit down and just be with Him. Don't get so involved in the church that you forget to be the church. Don't seek so deeply for a mission and try to do so many things that you forget to sit down and just let yourself love Him. Don't try to heap up an impressive list of to-do's and forget to do the most important thing- love.
Don't. Don't waste rainy days. Don't forget that it's okay to feel. Don't forget that fearlessness looks a whole lot like cliff jumping with your best friends but it also looks a whole lot like letting yourself cry in a messy, heartbreaking way on the bathroom floor. Don't forget that to be fearless often means standing in front of a crowd and delivering a speech but it also means stepping back and letting someone else take the centre stage.
Don't. Don't forget that the people in front of you are real, breathing, living beings. Don't get so wrapped up in media and texting and profiles and likes that you forget that the people in front of you have a heart beat-beat-beating in their chest. Don't get so caught up with being superficial that it causes you to forget the truth: you've got one life. One life, baby. One life. And if you've got one life then it means you've got one chance. And if you've only got one chance to love then you better do it. You better turn off the internet and sit in a coffee shop and start loving people with words and actions and not just a cell phone.
Don't. Don't forget to show up. I don't mean for dates or to school. Don't forget to be a living, breathing, screaming invitation to people to believe in something better. Don't forget to be there for people. Don't be afraid to get into the scary, nitty gritty, realness of someone's heart and soul. Don't be afraid to get your hands dirty with the brokenness of other people. Don't be so distant from people.
That's what my friends' three words screamed at me- a bunch of don'ts. A million reasons to live and love and give and serve. I'm not good at any of the above. I mess up daily and have too many unspoken words on these lips. My arms are empty with the people I did not hold and my hands are aching from too many times I held back from giving. I can give you a very long list of my flaws, starting with the way I fold laundry and ending with how I love people... But I'm trying. I am practising the art of just being here. Of showing up on someone's doorstep with a bible and two coffee cups in my hand. I am practising the art of buying flowers and meeting at cafes and trying desperately to show people goodness.
I think that's what it boils down to, a lot of the time. When you are wondering about your motives and beliefs and your very life, I think you'll ask yourself one question: did you believe in goodness? More importantly, did you live it out?