So what can I say,
And what can I do,
But offer this heart, Oh God,
Completely to You.
Today in church, we sang "the stand" by hillsong united. My eyes were closed and I was singing about surrendering my heart to God when I realized that I couldn't. Not because I didn't want to, but because often my prayer is: "Here, God, take my heart. But don't take anything else, ok? I'm just going to hold onto this, and this... Oh, and this too. I've got it. I've got this stuff, but you can have my heart." And as I sang about giving it all to Him, He showed me why I couldn't. In my head I saw myself bright and shinning... And then I started picking up weights. With each weight, the light got a bit darker. "Well, I have too much work this week." I complained as I picked up another weight. "I'm so tired." Another weight. "I'm so stressed about this mission trip." Weight. On and on until all the weights were blocking my way to Jesus. "Here, God. Take my heart!" I sang, but my arms were so full and my path so blocked up that there was no way He could take my heart without removing all the other stuff, too.
In that moment I grasped that I could not tell The LORD to take my heart when I was busy trying to take everything else. In giving Him my heart, I must give Him everything that is wrapped around it- all fears, pressures, anxieties. All or nothing. This was a hard thing for me to get my head around because so many people pile up their worries and burdens just to show it off. Sort of like a my-horse-is-bigger-than-your-horse thing. Like, "you worked 40 hours this week? I worked 50!" Or, "you need money? Do you know how in debt I am?" Or, "you're stressed? Well, do you know what I'M going through?!" We've made it into a game- who can be the most messed up? The sad thing is that even Christians do this. I do this. As a daughter of the most high King, I still strut around showing off all the stuff that I'm trying to handle instead of boasting about the only thing that I'm actually capable of- Jesus. I don't know what your life looks like, but I do know that a long time ago God made a mess out of His Son so that you would never have to play this game. God's vision for His children is people who are living and loving and moving and giving and we can't do that if we're tied up and weighed down by the very things that Jesus came to free us from.
One part of the song goes like this:
I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the one who gave it all
I'll stand
My soul Lord to you surrendered
All I am is yours
As I sang those words this morning I realized that I couldn't actually stand with my arms raised with the state of my heart. No way. And neither can you. You can't stand and worship and live with abandon and give glory to a God who brings freedom if you're holding yourself captive. I don't know what weights you're carrying, but I do know of a Savior who will take them one at a time, or even all at once- if you let Him. If you surrender it. If you surrender your heart and-yes- all that's wrapped up in it.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
- Jesus (Matthew 11:28)
And what can I do,
But offer this heart, Oh God,
Completely to You.
Today in church, we sang "the stand" by hillsong united. My eyes were closed and I was singing about surrendering my heart to God when I realized that I couldn't. Not because I didn't want to, but because often my prayer is: "Here, God, take my heart. But don't take anything else, ok? I'm just going to hold onto this, and this... Oh, and this too. I've got it. I've got this stuff, but you can have my heart." And as I sang about giving it all to Him, He showed me why I couldn't. In my head I saw myself bright and shinning... And then I started picking up weights. With each weight, the light got a bit darker. "Well, I have too much work this week." I complained as I picked up another weight. "I'm so tired." Another weight. "I'm so stressed about this mission trip." Weight. On and on until all the weights were blocking my way to Jesus. "Here, God. Take my heart!" I sang, but my arms were so full and my path so blocked up that there was no way He could take my heart without removing all the other stuff, too.
In that moment I grasped that I could not tell The LORD to take my heart when I was busy trying to take everything else. In giving Him my heart, I must give Him everything that is wrapped around it- all fears, pressures, anxieties. All or nothing. This was a hard thing for me to get my head around because so many people pile up their worries and burdens just to show it off. Sort of like a my-horse-is-bigger-than-your-horse thing. Like, "you worked 40 hours this week? I worked 50!" Or, "you need money? Do you know how in debt I am?" Or, "you're stressed? Well, do you know what I'M going through?!" We've made it into a game- who can be the most messed up? The sad thing is that even Christians do this. I do this. As a daughter of the most high King, I still strut around showing off all the stuff that I'm trying to handle instead of boasting about the only thing that I'm actually capable of- Jesus. I don't know what your life looks like, but I do know that a long time ago God made a mess out of His Son so that you would never have to play this game. God's vision for His children is people who are living and loving and moving and giving and we can't do that if we're tied up and weighed down by the very things that Jesus came to free us from.
One part of the song goes like this:
I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the one who gave it all
I'll stand
My soul Lord to you surrendered
All I am is yours
As I sang those words this morning I realized that I couldn't actually stand with my arms raised with the state of my heart. No way. And neither can you. You can't stand and worship and live with abandon and give glory to a God who brings freedom if you're holding yourself captive. I don't know what weights you're carrying, but I do know of a Savior who will take them one at a time, or even all at once- if you let Him. If you surrender it. If you surrender your heart and-yes- all that's wrapped up in it.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
- Jesus (Matthew 11:28)